Those who work in image consulting often have to work with and communicate with men, but they may not always fully appreciate the best ways to engage with them. This is true not only for image consulting professionals, but also in all situations when males and females interact. Communication among different genders can seem complex, and this has led many to believe that it’s because we communicate vastly differently. However, that’s not always the case. While there are some differences, you will be able to find some very effective ways to engage men in conversation.
Do Men and Women Communicate Differently?
While there are certainly a number of similarities between men and women and the way we all communicate with one another, there are some differences, as well. A recent book from Deborah Cameron delved into this subject.
Many myths have been perpetuated by studies that were aimed at finding more differences between the way men communicate vs. how women communicate. These studies aren’t often able to be replicated, and further research shows that there are not often the communication issues between genders that sitcoms and books from decades ago might have us believe. These myths may range from the idea that “guys don’t care about the important things,” or “language and communication matter to women more than men because they talk more,” or even that “talking to a man is like talking to a wall.”
However, this also doesn’t mean that we are identical. According to Rochester Rising, men are report talkers, while women are rapport talkers. A report talker is someone who communicates with an exchange of factual information to solve an issue, whereas a rapport talker is someone who looks to build relationships and who listens. They often solve problems with the help of those relationships.
It is therefore important to have a good understanding of how best to engage a man in conversation. Below, you will find a range of tips that can work very well.
Tips for Engaging Men in Conversation
Below, you will find a list of some of the best tips that you can start using right now to improve communication and truly engage males when conversing with them. These tips can be a huge help in your personal life, as well as your work life.
Describe the Importance of What You Are Going to Say
It is important to make sure that you let the man know that what you are going to say is important and that you have their full attention. You always want to be as direct as possible when communicating with a man. He isn’t able to understand what you want to talk about unless you tell him. By explaining the basics of just how important the discussion is, whether it is a personal or work discussion, it helps to ensure that he will be giving his full attention.
Be Sure to Have a Goal in Mind
When trying to engage a man in a conversation, it’s best not to have a meandering tactic to get to where you want the dialogue to go. You should have a goal in mind, and you should be as direct as possible when getting to that goal or point that you need to make.
No Distractions
When trying to engage in discussion with a man, it is important to make sure that there are no distractions. Some guys have trouble multitasking concentrating on a conversation. It’s hard to have a conversation with anyone when they are busy doing something else. Whether it’s watching television or working on a project at work, distractions mean that he’s not going to be focusing on the discussion at hand. A lot of what is being said and what you need to get across is going to be lost.
Ask for What You Want
No one will be able to automatically tell what you are thinking or what you want out of the conversation. You need to be very clear about what it is that you are hoping to achieve out of the discussion. Males tend to want to find solutions to problems. However, you might not want or need to have a problem solved. You might simply want to talk about an issue that’s happening.
The best way to get a response that you need is by telling them what you want from them. Make sure to let them know at the beginning of the dialogue, as well. Perhaps you would like them to simply listen. However, if you do want an answer, then you need to let them know that, as well. They won’t be able to know what you want unless you tell them.
Stay on Topic
As mentioned, males sometimes have trouble staying focused when trying to handle or understand several tasks at once. The same is true when it comes to topics. Instead of switching from one topic to another without ever finishing the discussion about that topic, you will want to stay on the topic at hand. Those who have conversations that meander to a number of different areas can make it difficult for some males to follow exactly what they want and what is important at the moment.
Keep Conversations Brief
It seems as though many males aren’t as equipped for long conversations as many women are. For the best results, it is a good idea to keep the conversations as short and to the point as possible. In some cases, it might take several shorter talks to get the results that are needed rather than one long discussion. Following the other tips and combining them with shorter talks can work well. If you are presenting in front of an audience of male coworkers, it would be advantageous to follow the guidelines above and keep the presentation factual, logical, and to the point.
Say What You Mean
Talking around subjects or generalizing things does not have the effect that you will want when trying to engage males in talk. Be clear about what you mean, so they don’t have to guess what you want or what you are trying to say. Men, and most women for that matter, appreciate clarity in dialogue. It’s far more productive.
Effectively Communicating to Your Audience
Understanding how to properly engage males in conversation and to communicate effectively is essential for those who want to become image consultants and help others. Understanding similarities, as well as differences helps people communicate meaningfully and successfully.
If you are interested in becoming an image consultant and helping people with their ABC’s: their Appearance, Behavior, and Communication, be sure to get in touch with The London Institute today.
